Lately it seems that nearly everyone that i knew from school are having or have had babies. Also i have been reading this amazing story that involved a baby and t has got me thinking about my future.
I don't think i am ready for a baby yet but i know i want one, one day when i am equiped the take care if it.
I have a little worry tho. My boyfriend is the most amazing guy in the world and i love him to bit but he says that he don't want kids, i am not sure if he is joking or being serious and i don't want to press the issue because its not necessary at the moment. But what if he never want them? I think " oh he will change his mind" but what if he don't?
We have been together far to long to lose everything over this. I guess i am just worrying over something i don't need too.
I hope these worries turn out not to be necessary.

Its supposed to be a new year and a new start.
Well for me it still as crapy as the end of last year.
I am really not sure what i am going to do anymore.
Everything is worse.
I am really heating this feeling that everything might be ending. It scares me so much.
We have been together almost 6 years. We are so close and i love him so much but we seem to be pulling eachother apart.
I really hope that we can survive this time, i would be deverstated should it all end.
I would not know what i would be.
My heart broke a little just reading the words "i hope we ain't braking up" it killed me just that tiny bit. Really really hope that i dont feel the full affects of total heart brake.

This is gonna be such a shit christmas.
I am hating it already.
My bf doesn't agree with the way my family deals with things, neither do but i am torn between them.
My bf was supposed to spend christmas at my house but i knowing how he feels about things i said he should go home. He would not be comfortable here.
He says tho he doesn't want to be at my house, he also does not want to be at home so he says he is gonna go the pub.
This is braking me in two, i feel like piggy in the middle.
I don't want to be here, i want to pack my bags and leave. I am sat hear silently crying while i type this.
How are you supposed to choose between the love of your life and your family?
I love them both so much
It's killing me.
Christmas to me seems to be nothing but heartbreak.

Right now my friends are currently goign through a rough time. They have been going out for about a year or so.

I was friends with the girl from school and know the boy because he started talking to me on my space.

Well recently he has been having doubts about the relationship because of the way that she is acting. Seems like lots of little things have built up to this.

Anyway to get to the part that has angered me to the core. They have been spending time apart and she went to his house to collect some things, (she had been staying at his house) they got talking. He told me that she said something that upset him. When i asked him what it was he told me that she had said that she had stared her period early and thinks the she was pregnant and miscarried! Now just because you start early does NOT mean that you were pregnant! If there was some other justification other then she started early i would not be mad but to say that to him, just because she started early, is just messing with his head because she wants the attention.

I am absolutely furious with her about it. I am still shaking now about it. I really am. My hands are shaking as i type this.

If i am wrong to be getting so angry just tell me.

I really just want to punch her in the face. I don't think i have ever been so angry in my entire life with some. I really feel bad for him because she is playing these mind games and he doesn't know what to do. I love him to bits and i don't what him to be hurting over this stupid little girl.

If you have any comments on the matter please shear i would be grateful to know what you all think. I might help me out too.

Well tomo is Mine and Marty's 4 year anniversary *eep* I really can't believe that it has been so long. Dont feel like 2 minutes since we meet but also i can't really remember a time without him. I am so lucky to have him in my life. I know that this is gonna be all soppy and lovey dovey but i can't help it.
For years i felt that i would never find someone that like me in anyway let alone love me like he does, its just so amazing. I amazingly lucky as marty is my first ever boyfriend in every way, He was my first kiss, firts love, first .......... well you get the point. I hope that everyone experiences this type of love at least once in there life.

I just want to shear the love with everyone and to let the world know that no matter how bad thing seem in the search for love that there is someone out there and if you wait you will find them when you least expect it.


::Tonight::

Well tonight is Marty's Grandparents 50th Goldden Wedding anniversary and we are all going out to and indian for curry. This is really strange bacause they don't like food like that *LOL* I think they chose there as it was close to the pub that they like to go to but all so it is beacuse they know that we like it there, which is nice of them to do that for us on their special day ^_^ They are both really lovely and funny to be around.

I am really looking forward to it as well :)

i will give an update about it tomo but it should be a good night. Marty's family is really cool to which helps. i know that if you read the entry before i was just letting of stem they are not to bad just a little frustrating at times (who isn't) but i still love them. They treat me like i am one of the family :) Which is really cool

Well today i was talking to marty on the phone and he is a little upset.

Lets start at the beginning : marty had applied for a job a few weeks ago and received a letter back yesterday which basically said that he was too qualified for the job and didn't get it. Needless to say he was a little upset about it. Well apparently last night his mam and dad had a huge argument about it and his mam blamed Marty's dad for marty being upset. (did that make scence? i hope it did) How crazy is that?? Well they a both angry at eachother and are threatening to walk out (i must say that this is not the first time that this has been said) this morning tho his mam burst into his room and woke him up blaming MARTY for THEIR argument. so now Marty is upset because he has had a hugh argument with his mam about the whole job situation and she is now not speaking to him. Marty says that he is feed up with it, as am I. Everytime his mam and dad have an argument or anything goes wrong then it his fault and it is just so un fair.

Well this has really upset me because i am sick of her trying to rule his life and not let him get on and make his own decisions when her other son (who is 21 btw) is making worse decisions and she lets him get away with lots of stuff. It just makes me so mad. *GRRRR*

Well thank you for reading this.

how i have not upset your day by reading my angry rant *LOL*

Well the other day i was about to make my lunch, which was some Bratwurst that was left over from the night before. Well it was wrapped in tin foil and I (for some crazy reason) thought that it would be ok to put it in the microwave (with the it still in the tin foil) Needles to say that one i set it going i heard funny nosies coming from the microwave. When i looked back i saw blue sparks inside the microwave and then fire. I run towards it and turned it off. I felt so stupid for doing something so silly but i was a bit shaken with panic tho. Luckily when i open the door everything was fine inside and there was no sings of any damage.

So the reason that i am telling you this is to NOT put tinfoil in the microwave *LOL*

::Update - The Bratwurst was very yummy after this incident and this is just a ordinary day in the life that is Carly, Thank you for reading :P::

Well i just wanted to say that at the min i am a very happy bunny and i know that many of you would not know hwo i am as i don't writ on here very often. Well i just want to let the world know that Marty (my boyfriend) and I will have been together for a totaly of 4 years in 1 weeks time. It dont seem like it has been that long. Aint it amazing how time flys by :)

Well i hope you are all Happy and well


Love Carly


xxxxxxxx

hey i am all finished now for summer and loving it yeay. the weather is great soo warm and sunny .

well catch u later
hus n love

Carly

:P

Hey everyone i am feelin really tired tonight.
I feel like such a dork tho. I went into uni today thinkin that i had a lecture but when i got there my friend reminded me that i didn't have to coz my lecture wasn't in this week. So i could have had a nice sleep in. Insted i got up and wasted an hour of my life gettin there and an hour gettin back. :(
Oh well at least I got some work done :) I am makin a music vid at the min and it is goin to be so cool. EPP. I have to say that I love animation it is just so amazing to see somthing that u have drawn come to life and move.
Well nothing much else to say really so feel free to leave a comment and i don't know just go crazy :S
Carly X

Hi everyone this is my first entry. I dont really know what to say but then again i never do. lol
Well this is just very short and i will update later.
Bye
Carlyx